Sunday, 21 December 2008

• Currently Chris Brown By Chris Brown see related

  I was at work today,doing my usual cashier duties when this young couple came into my line. You could tell they were newly married,maybe a year or two. They were young,maybe mid twenties. I looked that the women and she was pregnant,and that automatically made me feel happy for them. Then I saw the way her husband looked at her,that look..where you know that they really love eachother. The love they had between them,made me feel good. They were ready to start a family,and expand that love. Which I think is one of the most beautiful things in this world. In some way,it also made me sad. Just because thats what I want. I want that so badly. I know I'm young,I'm only 18 years old. I have my whole life ahead of me. I'm not necessarily saying I want to get married and have kids now..I just honestly want to fall in love. I have been in love once,and it honestly destroyed me as a person. But it also taught me how to love,and I pretty much had to rebuild myself into a new person after the relationship ended,and I think I changed into a really good person. I'm not going to lie,I have extremely bad trust issues with men,but that hasn't stopped me from wanting to fall in love. I love the feeling of being in love! It's so amazing. Especially the kind of love that I want. Grante,the last relationship I had was pretty abusive,verbally and emotionally..however when I find a relationship with someone..and they treate me well..wow that feeling must be amazing. A lot of these thoughts I think are coming out now because it's christmas time. This is the first christmas i've been single.. in almost three years. It just makes me upset. I wish I had someone to spend it with. I'm not even saying I want to fall in love now,I know love takes awhile. But I love getting to know a person inside and out. And that new relationship butterfly feeling you get everytime you talk or see them. I've heard the cliche lines "the minute you stop looking for him..he'll find you" or "hes out there..he'll come in time"..believe me i've heard them all. I'm sick of dating all these low life guys,I just want to find him now. I have so much love,I just don't know where to put it.

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